I’ve had this article written by Paul Graham bookmarked for a few weeks now since it was shown on Slashdot. I don’t know why I haven’t written about it before now but I guess right now I really feel compelled to share it with others. It’s such a great article, something that I really wish I had been told my freshman year of high school. There might not have been much that I would have listened to back then, some experiences can only be attained more difficultly. But, there’s much that I need to do now before my time runs out. Not really that it’s going to run out but I need to take advantage of my time much more wisely than I currently do. I have opportunity in front of me, something that’s possibly going to make my career. And I have interests that, if I decided to pursue them, would give me the advantages for which I long (seeing the world).


I think right now I need to figure out which ambitions mean more to me and see them through. I moved to LA to pursue music, and clearly I’m not even doing that right now. I keep putting it off. I keep doubting myself. Maybe the more I see that industry, the more I’m turned off. I would love nothing more than to be a music editor, but I don’t see any opportunity for me to actually make this happen right now. I definitely haven’t worked hard enough to find a spot in some studio either so I’m to blame. But, I think this is partly due to the fact that I’ve had so many things fall in my lap in the past few years of my life… well maybe for most of my life! Things just seem to work out for me most of the time. Sure, I’ve had my periods of being down but I usually come back. I just have to remind myself that the situation is temporary. Being depressed (which I’m not) is not really a choice I decide to make, but rather an effect of my choices that I do or do not make. It’s sad, but it’s life. It’s those times when you need to remember that it will get better.

If you had asked me at 15 what I’d be doing at 25, I would have said “I don’t know”, but hoped that I’d be making good money and enjoying life. I would have said looking to get married in the next few years. Yes, I have always known that I would not get married before 25 because I figured what’s the point of settling down so early when there’s so much out there to do and see? I just hope that I’m not having my first kid at 35! Anyway, if I could take back the past 7 years of my life, I would have changed them in many ways, though would I truly have known the best way at the time? No, I know I had to learn these things through experience and growing older.

When I was in the eighth or ninth grade, maybe it was tenth, my friend Frances moved away to Slovakia for… I think it was for a year. Slovakia was part of the former Czechoslovakia before it broke up, and I hear it’s beautiful! I’m not sure if that’s where she intended to go but when she returned, she was different. I mean, she was the same but I know she completely matured from having taken that trip. And really, I don’t think I could really see that until later in high school or even college. It was a life experience that I think would benefit a LOT of people, something maybe I should have done. I was so materially driven, wanting and desiring so much in my life, it would have given me such an invaluable experience and perspective. I can specifically remember thinking how in the world could I leave all of my CDs and tapes?! Music was and always has been such a huge part of my life, and I would have been deprived of that for a little while. I look back wishing I hadn’t been so shallow.

Now it’s like I’m waking up to new possibilities and prospects, things I just haven’t really considered until now. There’s so much more out there in which I’m interested. I guess half the fun is now going to be figuring out how to make these interests and thoughts into realities. Seeing opportunities arise and taking advantage of them! Or finding myself a beautiful, wonderful, rich sugar mama. ;-) Anyone?