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is it sad?

Is it sad that I haven’t left my house since last Sunday?

It’s funny really. Some days I go longer wearing no shirt than actually wearing one. I could easily blame my shirtlessness on the dry heat of the San Fernando Valley in the midst of a heatwave and years long drought. Working from home allows me the luxury of a relaxed dress code. But no, alas, the heat is only a moderate factor to my lack of attire.

More than two years have passed since the routine of a job. Spending all that time in front of a computer at work was draining. I remember a time when I wanted my freedom, to do what I felt like, to be in a selfish position laying out the foundation for my musical career. Two years on and I have taken only moderate strides in that direction.

Lately, my time is devoted to web design and Skype. Looking ahead to next month’s bills is my new free time and finding new monetary revenues is my job. Since losing the regularity from my part-time work earlier this year, I try daily to build a new avenue which shall become my routine. Working for yourself can be a chore for this reason.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m destined to become the mid-life crisis, the dupe who gets scammed, the alarmist who believes in wrong message, the mule who won’t back down. When I realize what positions I take, when I listen to myself talk sometimes, I almost can’t believe it. Stepping out of your own mind and listening to your own voice can be daunting.

I find myself in a curious position of not knowing what comes next. I just hope when I get there my shirt still fits.

my cms is broken after updating! d’oh!

Fixed! Turns out the latest upgrade broke some javascript which was used for my editor. Here’s more information: http://wordpress.org/support/topic/279476

uppity

Goodbye Google Toolbar for Firefox. You hog too much memory. Hello Uppity and Autofill.

nintendo controllers!

I’ve tried different PC USB controllers, but no controller ever beats the original. I want! The SNES adapter would do just fine too.

on-demand cd

If I was a practicing or professional musician, this would be my distribution method. The RIAA has a lot of trouble coming its way.

Google Toolbar

Even though I don’t use Internet Explorer, I’ve installed the latest Google Toolbar version 6 because of the quick search box. So much better at starting programs than Start Menu or Search box in Vista/Win7.
Related: Launchy

2 replies

windows 7

I used Windows 7 RC. It eats Vista for lunch as far as I’m concerned. It’s not perfect but it is a huge improvement. UI, speed, lack of UAC, all make Windows 7 worth the upgrade.

mini blog

I’ve added this new section called “asides”. It’s for posts that don’t need many words. That is all. :o)

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thirty

It’s just a number; it doesn’t define how I really feel.

Twenty years ago, I turned 10. Ten years ago, I became 20. I don’t remember my decennial birthdays or what happened on each of them. It’s possible I had a party when I was 10. I might have been with friends or taking finals when I was 20. Now comes my third decennial birthday.

When I was thinking to my future so long ago, I could have imagined it in many different ways. Maybe I would be a successful musician or audio engineer. Maybe I would be a doctor. I never had a clue what I wanted to be when I “grow up”.

From a biased look on the outside of nearly thirty years of life, it seems like I’ve had so much time to leave a legacy. I was given countless opportunities and time to do whatever I wanted. I’ve had a blessed life to make so many memories.

But no, I’m not where I could be. I’m not where I thought I’d be. I also have little regret about my choices. My destiny hasn’t caught up with me, not yet at least. Web design is my easiest path, but I hesitate to leave the music and entertainment world. However, these decisions and choices will be made soon. My life is changing.

If you told me that I was thirty years old, I would laugh in your face and exclaim, “Big deal!”. That number means nothing to me especially considering I don’t feel my age.

I’m not old, I’m just experienced. It’s time to put this experience to good use.

Goodbye, my reckless and irresponsible twenties. I enjoyed you as much as I could when I finally realized age doesn’t stop. You weren’t always good to me but I made the best of you.

Hello, thirties. You’re gonna bring me the best years of my life. I know aging will make my life better, so I expect a lot more out of you. Just don’t give up on me when I fail. You can remind me I’m better for being here. I promise I’ll do my best to enjoy you more than I’ve ever enjoyed my life.

bored with writing

Since my last post on Moscow, I though about writing the following topics:

  • St. Petersburg
  • 2009
  • web design galore
  • having no social life
  • wishing I didn’t have to submit my taxes or pay for car insurance

Since my last post, I’ve had no desire to sit down and write until this very moment.

You see, I’ve been busy. At least, I’ve kept myself busy with work. I’m not putting in 40 hours a week every week but I’m coming close to it.

As a freelance/contract/self-employed person who works 2 part-time jobs on the side, I work harder for my money than the average person.
I don’t clock in.
I don’t have water cooler chats with my coworkers.
I don’t have a boss peering over my shoulder
I’m my own boss and I call my own hours.

Writing, as I’ve said in the past, is tough for me. Creative writing is even more of a chore. I force myself to do it because it’s good for me and keeps you informed. I almost want to blame my lack of desire on my site’s design. I feel like this design is only half complete. Thinking about editing it makes me bored. So my site sits here and I don’t say much.

I remember when I first started writing on my site 7 years ago. It was much more frequent, it was exciting, and I generally felt as ease typing more than I do now.

Life has gotten the best of me lately, and I’m much less motivated to do certain things than I was before. Wax and wane I guess.

Since I’ve had no social life in January, February is stacking up to be much more productive in that way. I’ve planned a few trips and sacrificed going on others.

It’s going to be an interesting next few months. Maybe I’ll drop by a little more. Maybe I’ll even write a few more times a month.