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</2007><2008>

Last year was life changing. This year will continue the ongoing struggle of personal success.
Last year took a big step and big chance. This year will see the beginning of my results.
Last year was my biggest year in romance I’ve had since the late 90s. This year I hope I’m too distracted for drama.
Last year marked ten years since high school graduation. This year begins a more productive decade beyond high school.
Last year I completed major goals to make big changes. This year I continue to make bigger changes.
Last year I met a bunch of new friends and, sadly, lost a few of them. This year I won’t let my losses hold me back but gain much more through my experience and memories.
Last year I made a small commitment to physical fitness. This year I shall pick up where I left off.
Last year I mostly left web design behind to others. This year it will fund my other opportunities in life.
Last year was the biggest year of my life. This year will only be bigger and better.

silly CHIPs

I just got home about 10 minutes ago from a late night out of seeing the movie Juno and hanging out. I would have been here 15 minutes ago if it weren’t for a particular California Highway Patrolman.

The 210 freeway is notorious for speeders. It’s the closest interstate to my house and most desolate and safest freeway on which to speed. As you would know from me, I tend to go the speed of traffic as it’s much safer than going the speed limit. I learned that in defensive driving 9 years ago after getting my first ticket.

Upon exiting the freeway to drive to my house, the car directly behind me quickly sped up before I saw some flashing headlights followed by flashing car lights. It was the cops and they caught me!

I turned right at the light by the overpass and slowly tread by the curb until we both fit in a tiny space between the access road and entrance to a large outdoor garden center. Seconds later, two patrolmen came walking towards both sides of my car with flashlights shining into my car. By the time the patrolman rapped on my window, I had all my paperwork and license ready to hand him. So, I began to open my door to meet him outside.

“Just roll down the windows, sir”

Okay, whatever you say officer. I closed my door and rolled down my window.

May I help you?
“You were speeding. Did you have any alcohol tonight?”
No sir.
“Have you had any drugs or medications?”
No sir.
“I smell something that smells like coconut. What is that?”
I’m not sure what you’re smelling.

He proceeded to hold his dirty pointer finger out, pointing towards my chest. His hands needed to be washed and his fingernails had a little grime under his cuticle ends.

“I need you to follow my finger with your eyes and without moving your head. Do you understand?”
Yes sir.

His finger first went to the left a few inches, he held it there for a couple of seconds before slowly moving it along a plane to the right about eight inches. He held it still for a couple more seconds before moving it back to the left another eight inches. My eyes easily followed his fingers towards both sides, locked on his dirty grime under his fingernail nail plate end that was almost white.

“Sit right here, I’ll be back”
Okay.

The patrolman went right back to his car and I decided to shut my engine off since he likely would take a while to check my clean record and determine whether I had any problems for him to write me up. From the way he asked those certain questions, I think he was trying to find a stupid person to admit something was the matter. I’m not stupid.

As I waited there and wondered what fate had in store for me, I resigned from any discomfort about getting a ticket and paying for it since what was done, was done. Sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. I’ve been in a similar situation before with a New Mexico State Trooper and I walked in between our cars to plead my case. I was lucky enough to get a warning instead of a ticket from that New Mexican. Trying to remember which arguments won that situation, I racked my brain to come up with a few logical, defensive driving arguments that would help me in case this patrolman did want to write the ticket.

A couple of minutes later, a flashlight starts to make his way on my passenger side. Great, the other patrolman wants to see if he can find anything in my car to make me get out. I get another rap on my passenger window. I lean to the door, push the handle to open the door.

“Here you go. Drive safely.”
Thanks.

Bite me. You just wasted five minutes of my life.

selfishness

For the first time ever, I wanna know what it feels like to spend Christmas away from my family.
For the first time ever, I don’t wanna feel obligated to spend Christmas like I always have.

If my college years were the time to make something of myself, my twenties are the time to live selfishly. I didn’t follow the path many of my peers and friends have. I spent the first 25 years of my life doing what was mostly expected of me without much debate or question. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized my twenties are quickly about to pass without me living a life I see myself living.

I say living “a life” instead of “the life” for a reason. I don’t see myself living one life, “the life”, doing something for the rest of my life. I see myself doing many things, living many lives and enjoying many passions and desires.

When I moved to Los Angeles in 2004, I moved from my comfort zone to the front lines of my ambitions. I stepped out of that which I knew (everything in Texas, everyone I knew) to a place where nothing was familiar. All for a dream. All on a whim. All for everything and anything.

I had no real plans, no real decisions to make, nothing to push me in any certain direction except my degree, my passions and my desires. I was open to anything, hoping for everything, and expecting nothing. Now, treading the beginning of a new year, I realize I’m barely further than I was in 2004.

I decided after a couple of years of being here it was time to live like I was in my twenties. I’ve become more selfish, doing more things I want and pushing responsibility and obligation as far away as I can without it bringing me down. I’ve started to seek out social activities such as dating, something I’m still quite unfamiliar with and don’t know what it really feels like to be with someone I want.

I’ve resigned from security and comfort to pursue the untamed and out of reach. I don’t want a typical life; I want the extraordinary life. “The man” has no more control over me. Not right now. I’m living for me.

I spend my free time dreaming about a music career, a photojournalistic life, a performance to inspire, a production of success, a listing on a site. I see so much for me and I want it all.

2008 will test my will and force my hand.
2008 will reveal my discipline.
2008 will show my weaknesses.

I can afford to be young and stupid, to be twenty-something as long as I want but I need to push myself to live the lives I want to live. I hope I can push myself, turn away from distractions and stay motivated.

No regrets.

1 reply

perks of living in hollywood

  1. Vince Vaughn @ Fred ClausOn the first weekend of November, I had a friend visiting me for her first trip to LA. I love when my out of town friends come into to town and visit me. It gives me a chance to show off the city I’ve spent three and a half years growing to love.

    We did all the stereotypical things one would expect when coming to LA: Disneyland, Hollywood Blvd., and the beach. I asked her if there was anything particular that she wanted to do only to receive an apathetic reply. So, I made my own little tour for the weekend.

    Following a day at Disneyland, we decided to go to Hollywood on Saturday. The most obvious and tourist friendly place for out-of-towners is the Highland and Hollywood center. It’s $2 parking for 4 hours, accessible to the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and the Walk of Fame.

    On this particular day, we had a nice quick lunch before walking out and noticing that Hollywood Blvd. was blocked off. The one thing she had kinda requested was to see the hand and foot prints at the theatre. As we walked over there, we noticed a bunch of lights, microphones, cameras, and slowly people congregating. Then we noticed that the theatre was off limits. Turns out there was a premiere for the movie Fred Claus.

    We eventually decided to stick around since apparently the premiere festivities were about to start. I grabbed my camera and looked like a paparazzo perched to the side amongst a little crowd near the entrance of the red carpet. Eventually, black cars drove up and let out celebrity after celebrity, many of whom I couldn’t name or had no idea who they were.

    After standing there taking photographs of whomever I could, a guy approaches us with a stack full of passes in his hand. “Does anyone want a pass to a screening?” he asked. Sounded good to me. So we both tried fighting for passes not thinking much of it. Maybe it was just some random screening of this movie on another weekend. Our diligence paid off as we were the last two tickets that he had in his hand.

    After receiving the tickets, we looked on the passes to see what date this screening was for.

    Hey, wait, isn’t this today’s date? I asked.

    “It sure looks like it; what time is it?” she replied.

    The premiere start time was 4pm on Saturday, November 3rd. Wait, that was… we had the golden tickets to this premiere! We walked to the entrance of the red carpet and they let us right through! I walked my very first and only Hollywood premiere!

    As we passed on the left portion of the red carpet, we passed all the celebrities on the right as they were doing interviews with the media. I got a good look at most of the celebrities up close and even met a couple. Premieres are all they’re cracked up to be too: free everything and unlimited access to all of it. Hollywood knows how to party in style

    The strangest part of the whole experience for me was after the movie was over. We waited a couple of minutes for the crowd to die down before making our way up the aisle. Then, as if on cue, stands up Vince Vaughn, Fred Claus himself. How many times in your life do you see a movie with the lead star, only to see him in person after the movie is over?

    Only in Hollywood.

  2. Keira and JamesI got a phone call last Tuesday evening for an invitation to a screening of the movie Atonement. Once again, not expecting anything, I got to see a pretty decent movie with some very mature and deep themes of romance, lost hope and lifelong regret.

    The screening finished followed by a Q&A with the director. Then, the surprise turned even better: all the leads were in attendance. It was quite a treat to hear each of them talk about different elements of the movie and how it was all put together. Keira is even more attractive and radiant in person.

In a span of a month, I attended two events which were spontaneous and unplanned surprises. People back in Texas ask me when I’m moving back, expecting me to be ready to go back to what I had before and continue life in Texas. As far as I’m concerned, I’m enjoying the availability of events like this and look forward for more to come. I’m just having too much fun to actually go anywhere else.

it’s ringing loudly inside!

Not too long ago, my ears became really stopped up. It’s either that or I’m just now noticing it. I have a condition called tinnitus and suddenly the ringing in my ears is much louder. Usually, I can mask the noise out with some fans or white noise but right now sounds around me feel a little more distant. It’s like my ears suddenly decided to stop themselves up for no reason. It’s possible that I’m on the tail end of a cold and the germs are doing this, but if it’s not that I’m not sure what’s going on! Let’s hope this clears up soon because it’s annoying and loud!

the bittersweet serendipity

A few days ago, I found out an old colleague of mine was sent to Manhattan for a few days on a business trip. Knowing his disdain for all things New York, I gave him a quick suggestion for one of the best desserts you’d get anywhere.

After a couple of text messages back and forth over the next few hours, confirming that I didn’t send him to a restaurant which caters to only one sexual orientation, he takes heed on my suggestion. I then wanted confirmation that his dessert hit the spot.

Success!
… well, almost.

One day later, tragedy strikes. The unexpected, one terrible, disgusting report that I never expected:

USA Today reported that Serendipity3 was closed down on account of a failing health inspection. This is the day after I sent my former colleague to enjoy their dessert. The reason they closed? According to his reiteration of the problem:

and his follow-up response:

I was sooooo embarrassed and disgusted. I tried to assure him that what didn’t kill him only made him stronger but to no comfort. It was of little comfort that I made an honest mistake, but he knows of my embarrassment and sympathy.

Would I recommend this dessert again? Absolutely, but you might want to just order the mix and make it yourself!

This is, in every sense of the word irony, the worst case of “serendipity” I’ve ever been apart of.

into the wild

into the wild

Driving is in my blood. I do it often and I enjoy it. It’s a mobile comfort zone. I’ve made many long distance trips and endured many hours alone while driving from point A to point B. I mentally prepare myself for long trips since some drives can be tedious and boring. I also learn and adapt to visual cues to make my drives more interesting.

In college, there were the trips I made between Houston and Dallas on I-45. I know the amount of time it should take to make the trip. I know how the outlet mall in Conroe is the cue that either I’m completely out of or getting closer to the metropolitan and suburban of Houston. I remember Highway 79 at Buffalo is where I used to turn in order to go to my grandparent’s house in northeast Texas or the way to Lakeview church camp. Fairfield is the beginning of the Dallas half of I-45. I know the exact point about 30 miles south of downtown Dallas that I can see the neon green outline of the Bank of America building at night. The McDonalds in Huntsville is where I’ve spent many rest stops with my friends going to and from church camp. Right before I get to Madisonville, I know I’m exactly 99 miles from downtown Houston. My dad and I stopped at a closed gas station between Conroe and Huntsville for a few minutes because the rain was coming down so hard. There used to be a hill between Corsicana and Dallas just east of the freeway that had “GOLF” clearly spelled out.

When I lived in Denver for two years, I spent two 8 hour days with an overnight in Lubbock. Brenham is where the Blue Bell Ice Cream factory is located! When 290 turns into 36, I spend about five hours of my drive on 36 ending up in Abilene. One time when I was driving through Abilene, I found a college radio station that happened to be playing one of my favorite composers, Kurt Bestor. I instantly fell in love that day. There’s a stretch of Highway 84 that has a lot of plateaus and rocky hills. This is the precursor to the next day’s drive or reminder of the previous day’s drive. After leaving Clayton on Highway 64, about 15 minutes into the drive to Raton, there’s a huge hill across from Mt. Capulin Volcano that keeps my attention for about an hour. It’s a beautiful drive. From Dumas to Clayton, there is little of anything to look at except corn fields and silos. Dalhart is your last chance for Blue Bell Ice Cream before you leave Texas. About 15 minutes south of Raton, a hail storm pounded my car and I almost got into an accident. Trinidad, Colorado has this one hill that looks like stair steps. Colorado Spring signifies the last leg of my journey or the beginning of the rest of my trip. Just north of Colorado Springs is the Air Force Academy’s chapel, a place I’ve been to exactly three times. Between Trinidad and Pueblo, the best music to play while you see a train going down the track with mountains in the background is Kansas’ “Song for America”. In fact, this song is appropriate for a lot of this trip.

I saw the movie Into the Wild a week ago. I don’t watch movies as often as I wish, and I come across movies like this even less often. Although the subject of the movie has its controversies, the message was very well delivered and quite thought provoking.

Throughout the movie, I continually thought of different people I know who would identify with this scene or that scene. His journey, the scenery, his misfortunes… so much brought back memories of my own journeys and behaviors. For each person I thought of, I could relate my own experience and memory of these scenes just as much. This kid had a lot of angst and loneliness trying to find the way to his purpose and I understand what that’s like. This kind of loneliness is being in a car for many hours and allows you to process anything you want. It’s you, the radio, and your thoughts.

The kinds of solitary experiences Christopher went through brought me back to the countless hours I spent in my drivers seat. The kinds of inductive reasonings and theories he would often expound upon, including the memorable quotes from several well known authors, were identifiable and familiar. It made me miss those solitary times I spend in the car. I think that’s part of the reason I like to be on the road; the open road is my freedom, my independence and my endless possibility. It reminds me that there’s more to live than just the routines and habits we develop. If we continue to do the same all the time, we lose the opportunities to make the memories that change us. Living outside your element is the experience which helps you see those new possibilities.

“Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fairness… give me truth.” -Henry David Thoreau

a personal philosophy

A few years ago, I had a huge self-realization that changed my outlook. I know that I carry a lot of negative energy with me sometimes. Depression, sadness, worry, fear: these states of being can get the best of me and bring me and others around me down.

Randomly, self-realization hit me: why am I wasting time on emotions and states of being that make me unhappy? Why should I spend anymore time than I have to wasting away with negative energy? I’m always going to have the moments and periods in my life that won’t be the happiest or positive; I’ll likely continue to regret my words and actions from time to time (it’s almost inevitable).

I decided that these negative emotions were a waste of my time. I see no reason to carry on as a negative person so much and I won’t live from my regrets. Sure, you can’t just deny that you feel a certain way at a certain time, but there are positive ways to reflect from those things in life that make you feel a certain way. A few years ago, I saw a friend of mine give me a great example of dealing with problems. Most of the crap I let get to me I should brush off my shoulder. Dismiss it. Forget about it. Most of the problems I let get to me are petty, not worth getting upset about.

I do everything I can to learn from my regrets and try to move on as quickly as time allows. It helps me to be positive and happy, things that resonate to others around me too. It’s not always easy to do this, but it’s a goal I’m committing to for the rest of my life.

cellular flight

I conducted an short, impromptu test on my flight back from Colorado Springs this evening. As I loaded the plane, I was texting several different people to coordinate a ride back to my car from the airport. I took my seat at 7A and received a reply.

As I was conversing back and forth between a potential ride, I noticed that the flight attendant completed her company standard speech about our safety and convenience about flying. I couldn’t remember hearing anything about shutting my mobile phone off, so I continued to send text messages.

After a brief walk-thru, she made her way back to the front of the plane to take her seat. I received and sent another reply on my phone which was hidden from plain view. Our plane began rolling in reverse, away from the hangar and slowly into the tarmac leading to our runway.

I received another text message. The plane turned to the left, then turned left once again. The acceleration swiftly began since we were the one and only plane in line to leave.

I sent one more text message as the plane lifted from the ground before a minute passed with one more received message. We were at least a few hundred feet off the ground when I sent my last text message successfully.

A couple of minutes after the plane ascended to a few thousand feet, I noticed the service bars disappearing. I received no more replies after the last message.

For the next 10 minutes or so, I watched my service bars go in and out. Sometimes they’d be at three bars, sometimes at no bars, sometimes at two bars. Anytime there was more than one bar, seconds later it would go to no bars. The rest of the flight was spotty like this with no chance of there being real service anywhere so I entered my phone into flight mode for the remainder of the flight.

About 10 minutes before landing, I wanted to see if I could once again get service while in the air. I took flight mode off and noticed the same pattern of shifty and sudden drops in bars. It was unlikely that any consistent service was received.

So, that kinda took care of my curiosity about cellular phone usage on flights, confirming what I pretty much assumed anyway.

Here is an experiment similar in nature to my test.

california’s on fire!

Natural disasters: the short list in which I’ve participated throughout my life. I slept through a category one hurricane when I was 10. I went four days without electricity from a blizzard during my last year of college. I’ve lived through several heat waves where temperatures reached up from 110 to 115 degrees for consecutive days. My car flooded because of a tropical storm during summer vacation. I live(d) through two areas which suffered minor droughts. My car was pounded by a tornadic force hailstorm during my drive home from college. I felt small jolts of a 4.3 earthquake earlier this year. Now, I’m literally surrounded by 15 wildfires throughout the Southern California region which has forced hundreds of thousands of people from their homes.

My life was never threatened from any of these disasters nor is it today. I have known people who suffered near tragedy from some of these events, including the wildfires which currently strike near home. Two days ago, unaware of the imminent Santa Ana winds this weekend, I had no idea something of this magnitude would strike and so quickly.

I remember the wildfires which struck here in 2003. I was living in Houston months before I decided to get the heck out of dodge. Reading and hearing about these fires was not much of a big deal to me since I had no personal connection to this region. My, how things have changed!