Once upon a time, I was dreaming about becoming a music composition major. Specifically, I was interested in writing music for films. My musical inspirations, the same exact ones he listed, were and are a big part of my life musically. Knowing that I have it in me to do similar, I wanted so badly to gain that treasured title: composer.
However, life was not as I hoped.
I eventually found myself on the path that has lead to where I am today. I have absolutely no regrets or complaints about the cards Iâ€™ve been dealt in life. I like to think Iâ€™ll still compose music for films someday. But back then, the timing wasnâ€™t right, and I wasnâ€™t qualified. Maybe some day.
This is exactly how I feel about going back to music composition. I’ve enjoyed my career as a web designer. I feel passionate about design, even if I’m not at the highest level of quality in my designs. Web design is and will always be a part of my life.
Music, however, has been and still is a huge part of my life. I even think music IS life. Without it, I don’t know who I would be. It is my inspiration, my motivation, the reason I smile, the reason I’m sad, it stimulates and touches me. I use it to enhance my life in times of joy and times of sorrow.
Recently, although not lately, I have finally begun a new journey back into music. I’m not sure where this journey shall lead, or if it shall produce the results I intend. I’m writing music with a friend, who is just as musical as I am. We intend to see how this turns out, what our music shall do. We don’t know what kind of success we could have, but I know this is important to both of us.
My dream for music composition is once again a reality, but not the reality I sought so long ago. I cannot wait to see where this venture goes. It’s a big reason I am still in LA today, maybe the main reason.
My room is a total mess. Boxes on the floor, random items in random places, receipts, suitcase, and CDs in the spots I pushed them off to. I’m living like I’m too busy to take care of them, and that’s kinda true.
My website upgrade has so far been a nice success. I want to incorporate visual imagery somehow, but haven’t gotten that far. One of three biggest tasks, however, has been accomplished! My old comments are all imported and up! It was a task I had no idea how to do and I graciously received help from a friend back in Houston! Next, I hope to import posts and comment from 2002 and 2003, but that might take a while.
I recorded a new Footalk podcast so expect that in the next few days. I think it’s the best episode yet!
Speaking of audio, I’m kinda getting back on my feet with music. I’ve recorded a friend playing the piano and I’m going to do what I can to help out on a few songs. It’s a good way to get my feet wet and back into the swing of things. I’m glad I’m finally making progress because the frustration has definitely mounted and lingered.
Oh, while getting everything up and running for this site, I’m revisiting all my old post and tagging them! See that section at the bottom of this page which says “Tag Cloud”? That’s a way to quickly access certain posts based upon my keywords with which I tag them. It’s another form of getting my content out there quickly!
Finally, as I hope my melatonin will hurry up and kick in, I need to speed my site up a little. All the plugins and new code I’m using is having a negative effect. I have lots to do.
This is called planet unicorn. It’s hilarious!
There’s so much going on that this feels like a chore.
My top priorities right now:
- Finish up design projects either initiated or started last year
- Refresh design at work before the end of the month
- Switch to cheaper auto insurance
- Read a couple of books
- Start doing anything musically
- Finish my taxes already
- Stay motivated and ready for NYC, SXSWi, and Houston for the whole month of March.
- Figure out what to do with my personal stuff I left behind in Texas
- Get back in touch with everyone I haven’t seen this year
To be continued…
In no particular order, here are many things I’ve noticed about myself or in general:
- I’m grinding my teeth a lot. I don’t know whether I’m impatient or anxious. When I’m up against stress, I grind my teeth. It’s been an on off thing I’ve done throughout my life, never as serious as I think it might be now. I think it’s a new habit that I am ready to break. Am I nervous?
- The last few months since returning from Houston have been less productive than I’d like. I am, however, very proud that I have accomplished what I have. I set out goals a couple of years ago and have been pretty on target for everything I wanted. It was these goals I knew I could accomplish. My moment of truth is quickly approaching.
- I have forced myself to buy mostly food that requires time and effort to prepare it. It’s a little annoying when I am hungry and want the quick carb fill, but I am determined to eat healthier. I’d much rather get into the habit while I’m not in bad shape than when I’m old and overweight. I need to find a happy medium. Sometimes it’s quite annoying when I can’t even find one thing to snack on that doesn’t require so much effort.
- I will probably make only 2 more trips this year, most likely being away again for about a month. I want more travel but this is the best I can do right now.
- Last year, I made a personal commitment to exercise. It began slowly but worked its way into a regular, habitual practice by the beginning of this year. Since then, I’ve quit my job and am now where I was before I started exercising. I have a bicycle and a roommate who will force me to go. I hope to make a better, more practical commitment to exercise. I miss it.
- Since the beginning of the year, I’ve had a huge indie music kick which has been so refreshing. Sigur Ros is my current obsession.
- I’m finally a few chapters into Harry Potter book 7. Once again, much longer than I had hoped.
- If I could afford my own place, I totally would move. I’m kinda ready.
- it’s very unlikely that I will go internationally bound this year. I was hoping that I could make something happen but there’s just no way for me to afford it right now. That makes me sad.
- I’ve had a really nice summer full of travel, reconnection, and renewal. I’m winding down on a few last web design projects and in talks to begin some new opportunities. There is a lot waiting for me, a lot I want to do and it’s only the beginning. I need to set my forward momentum at a pace that I have to sprint towards. It’s looking really good from here on out. I haven’t felt this kind of excitement in a while.
I’ve consumed some really great Internet lately. So, I think I’ll take the time to share some of my favorites.
- Last spring, notable author Kevin Smith wrote what basically amounted to a short story of the drug addiction his hetero-lover and best friend Jason Mewes fought and defeated. It’s probably one of the longest but most interesting stories of struggle I’ve read. It goes without saying that Kevin Smith is a brilliant story teller.
- Science of Sleep – After a few minutes of this movie, I knew it was exactly what I’ve been desiring. Without ruining it, it’s set in France and the lead actor knows English, Spanish and French fluently. You won’t fall asleep, I guarantee it.
- Although I hate politics, I’m looking forward to see how Ron Paul does next year. His chance at winning completely relies on grassroot campaigns, but he’s honest and straight forward. I believe what he says.
- I love open source, free software that replaces bulky mainstream software. For Windows (since most of you who read this use it) Read pdf files with Foxit. Open zip files with 7-zip. Watch videos with VLC. Launch your programs with Launchy. Index your files with X1.
- The best and worst of the Internet (I’ve seen most of these)
- I’m not one to get excited about another guy proposing to his girl, but this is one of the best proposals I’ve ever heard of. This guy put a ton of work into this and deserves the best. Good luck to him.
- Web design is my trade. Piepmatzel is some of the best of design on the Internet. Very much worth spending some time on. I’d be so lucky to one day make this exclusive list.
- America has a dirty little secret, and it has nothing to do with 9/11. We’re headed for disaster, as I’ve been told since I was in grade school so many years ago. 60 minutes rules.
- My latest musical inspirations: Arcade Fire, Sigur Ros and Kings of Convenience. Sigur Ros is releasing a full-length movie; I’m in anticipation.
- Need to find good food in the area? Yelp. Would you rather cook at home? All Recipes. Share you music and discover new ones. Last.fm. Share you photos. Flickr.
Last night was my first social night in weeks. I’ve spent the last few weeks staying at home, being frugal and not spending much so that I can save money and use what I do have for the things I enjoy. It’s been a test of my patience and discipline, but it’s what had to be done given my circumstance.
Room 5 sits just above Amalfi on Le Brea. I arrived a few minutes late only to find out his performance didn’t start until 8:30. Already, it being 10 past 8, the room was completely full with every seat taken. But the crowd slowly filled out. By the end of his performance the place was more than overcrowded. Sweat was dripping down my armpits as the temperature rose several degrees. My body is already too hot as it is.
I went to support my friend. I enjoy going to see my friends do what makes them happy. This night did not disappoint. Standing tall and peering over several people, I clung to a column as I watched six guys sing their hearts out. My friend had two solos throughout the performance, but you knew this was only one of many performances. Sadly, his mic was too quiet.
If you’ve never heard a boy band or barbershop quartet, the one thing you are missing out on is voices that harmonize in such a way that it makes your arm hair stand straight up. These six guys had a really exciting stage presence, with beautiful harmony throughout each song.
A thirty-five minute performance ended with a very desired encore. The room, full of the best and worst of hollywood, cheered and shouted for more. This was just one night, everyone knew what they wanted and the following musicians waited their turns to make their impressions.
“They’ve got nothing on you,” texted one guy to his friend. Whoever he was talking to must have been in the game for a while because this group I watched was so on last night.
Following the encore, we preceded downstairs to have drinks. I became my usual self, standing alone, checking my phone for text messages and doing whatever was necessary to look like I wasn’t bored or alone. It wasn’t before too long that I met some mutual friends who were there supporting the same friend I was. So small talk and minutes passed as I waited for our next move.
Red Rock on Sunset is a popular place for drinks. On any given night, you’ll find a typical collection of the west coast attitude; girls who dress to look their finest and guys who arrive for their drinks and sights. I stood around for about thirty minutes waiting on the group to arrive. I felt the need to make sure that I wasn’t alone; ordering a drink when no one I recognized is kinda sad, and I definitely didn’t want to be seen as desperate. However, this was a good night for me. I got several looks from the ladies but did not grow large enough testicles to make any moves.
Several drinks and good conversations later, it was time to call it a night. I’m proud of myself for how much I spent. Even if it wasn’t for parking meters on Sunset, I spent the least I’ve ever spent going out in Hollywood: $1.40 and a few gallons of gas. I paid for not one of my drinks (I had four and a half total). When it comes to living the frugal life in hollywood, it’s all about who you’re with and what you do. It’s not impossible, but it takes a little strategy.
Snausages: So, an E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar.
Snausages: And the bartender says,
Snausages: “I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
Myke: That struck a chord.
Snausages: Careful with those puns, you’ll get in treble.
Myke: But they’re key to my humour.
Myke: And very noteworthy.
I can be so judgemental sometimes. And most of the reason for this is because I silently see something that I think I can do better. This happens so often and it makes me so negative towards people. I get upset sometimes when someone is acting a certain way and won’t change or won’t see it my way.
I admit that I might not always be right, but the way I analyze things comes from a very logical/practical mindset mixed with my personal experience. I take what I know I can do, what I know about life, and apply it to all situations that I go through or see others go through. Maybe we’re all this way. We all think we’re better than everyone else.
But my complex is deeper in some way, a lot of it being musically. I’ve been a musician for much of my life but not really a practicing musician. More of a sideline kind of guy. I enjoy watching and listening and feeling the music. In my head, however, I analyze music and break it down. I hear the bad pitches and wrong notes and bad vibrato and tones. I think to myself, “Why have I never challenged myself to compete with these people? I could kick their butts”.
I’m the only person who keeps holding myself back.
I’ve used being shy as an excuse for so long. I’ve never sought out others who could help me for one reason or another [insert poor excuses here]. But I’ve also had different agendas or ideas than others about how I should do things for myself and it’s kept me from going anywhere. I don’t want to just learn the piano and sing by myself. I need some guidance and help from others, but I’m too shy to seek out this help. Or too stubborn for their opinions. Most of it is being shy though. It scares me to try out new material in front of strangers at a random cafe when the spotlight is only on me while it’s possible that they might not like it. I can’t take this rejection very well. It’s pain and I hate pain.
When I’m at school, I’m the kid who keeps his mouth shut. I don’t talk to anyone because I don’t know who they are. Deep down inside, all I want is for someone to reach out and include me. Yet, sometimes I’ll still pull away for no reason when I’d rather they fight to include me. I think I have a stupid complex about the people I associate with sometimes, mostly when it’s with strangers. I don’t want to be the one who’s the center or attention at first but rather the one that people seek because of my wisdom or knowledge. It’s always then that I love being the center of attention. How can anyone desire to seek me when they have no idea what I know or what I can do.
This is my story with music. I have a lot of musical ambition, aspirations, but I’m too scared to sit down and try it out myself. I need to practice but it eventually bores me. I need to learn new songs but those take discipline.
If i intend to actually move on with my life in other directions, I must get over myself. Stop judging others and thinking I’m better and actually prove to people that I can do something. I lack confidence in myself. I can’t just start from scratch with nothing, so I need to build something before I move into other directions.
It’s funny thinking about this because I know what could happen. If I decided to finally pursue a life of musical performance, meaning a band or solo or whatever it is, I know tons of people who would be right there front and center to support me.
And that’s such a great feeling.
Note to self: invest in your future.
If only I was smart enough to do the research, patent this technology and market it, investing in reproduction of microscopic hair cells in the cochlea located in the inner ears would make me a billionaire. My generation is going to have severe hearing loss when we get older, and the iPods and iPod knockoffs are one of the main causes.
But that’s like saying guns cause death.
Ah, very true. People with guns can cause death, not the guns themselves. So, let me rephrase this:
People who constantly use iPods and iPod knockoffs at high levels will go deaf unless they limit the amount of noise they allow into their ears on a daily basis. I’ve already got hearing loss with my ongoing, annoying tinnitus, most of which wasn’t even caused by my CD/digital music players.
I think this really is the best research to invest in right now and when I manage to figure out way of doing it, I also plan to invest money in this area. I’m definitely going to need the help as I age because hearing loss runs rampant in my family already.