the loud music, the crowded spaces, the sweaty gross bodies all moving around, the sticky floors, the dirty and wet bathroom floors, the attitudes, the rejection

I’ve never been much of a fan of dance clubs. I don’t know how to dance without looking stupid. I feel awkward going up to girls who I don’t know. There are so many excuses I can make for why I’ve never gone clubbing very much.

I feel like the one fun person who doesn’t have fun sometimes. I’m all about being with friends, partying and enjoying my company. But I’m often uncomfortable in social situations where I don’t have much control or feel as though I’m not very desirable. And that’s precisely what clubs make me feel like.

I also haven’t been clubbing too often with fellows who are around my age, mostly just my gal friends who are strictly platonic. And being out with platonic lady friends at a club is really just a waste of time since you’re not the focus of their desires.

So why do I put myself in situations where the outcome is usually against my favor? Because I love going out and being social. I love music. I love the lights. I love watching humans and how they interact. I love laughing and smiling and feeling good.

[wow, I didn’t realize Stevie Wonder had so many hits that I know but didn’t realize they were his. Superstition, Sir Duke, I Just Called to Say I Love You…]

Being out and about is essential to me. I need my alone time, where I can have self-reflection and get personal things done but being amongst friends and just taking in the evening is a such a wonderful feeling. I feed off of other people who bring out the best in me, and getting crazy in public is a wonderful way of releasing yourself.

I’m much more of a bar person than a club person. But if I had my choice, I’d probably just stay at home with friends and relax. Low key is nice after a long, busy weekend of social distractions.