Can’t escape #Christmas without #gingerbread #cookies!
This is the first time in my life, at least as I remember it, that I’ve not attended a Christmas Eve service at any church. There are local churches in the area and we probably could have stuck out a long wait to get to one of the services, but instead we opted to visit with this 92 year old man.
Over the years, I’ve made many visits to nursing homes, old people’s houses, and other places which house the elderly. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I don’t really enjoy spending too much time with the elderly. Maybe it’s because I’m not patient. Maybe I’m not very compassionate. Maybe my attention span is too short for the long stories in which they usually engage me. I tend to get bored, lose words, and often never know what to say. I get uncomfortable with the silence between conversations because I know a lot of them are waiting for me to bring up the conversation. I’m not usually someone of many words, especially when I can’t think of anything significant to say. Thus, visiting the elderly has never really been that enjoyable to me.
However, I know that I need to learn more patient, learn more compassion, learn to deal with this problem because almost everyone I know who is as old as my parents will eventually become those elderly people. And I’ll want to visit them. And I’ll want to know how they’re doing.
I know that we made that man’s evening. He was very excited and happy to have visitors. His mouth was moving light speed with story after story about how he used to work, what he used to do and how intelligent he really is. Although I could only understand half of what he said, I know that sitting there and listening was probably more effective thing to do with my time than going to a Christmas Eve service. We reached out to someone, helped bring Christmas cheer to him. Sometimes, I realize I must use humility and forget my selfish ways to make a difference in others. It’s not always going to be fun, it may not be what I really want to do, but it’s more important than anything else that I could have done.
I had no idea that my Thanksgiving break was going to last so long. Originally, my intention was to spend a week with family for Thanksgiving and another week and couple of days working. I ended up working for two full weeks, having the opportunity to spend time with most of my local friends in Houston. I basically accomplished all my goals for the trip, and then some more!
I hardly had time to breathe before I realized it was already Tuesday, my flight only being a few hours away. I feel great about the time I spent with everyone and would have loved to spend more time, but I realized it was time to continue on. Back to the reality of life in Los Angeles.
I sit here amazed because already, I’m in Austin remembering that my holiday vacation is more than half way over. I shouldn’t be able to spend this much time vacationing. I’m living in LA on borrowed time and money. But, I’m going to enjoy and embrace this while it’s available. It’s my time to be irresponsible. I have a degree, I did the responsible college thing, I earned and learned what I needed to. Now, I spend my time figuring out where I really need to be and what I should really be doing. In fact, I think it’s wiser to say I’m slowly learning what I do not want to do for the rest of my life.
I spent three and a half days in LA catching up with people, visiting others, and making sure I wasn’t neglecting anything. Bills still had to be paid, people still needed to be acknowledged, and I knew I was behind on both. Although I could have taken this for granted, it was to my advantage to spend those few days straightening it all out.
When I get back, I have a lot to think about. 3 web projects, looking for acting classes, trying to find a job/internship with a music company. It’s enough to keep me busy full time. And somewhere in between I must earn money to earn my keep. Otherwise, it’s Ramen noodles for every meal (no thanks).
This year, Christmas will earn another meaning to me. I’ve never experienced a white Christmas as every one of them up until now has been spent in Texas. But, this is the first time it will be spent driving through the mountains of Colorado, watching and eagerly anticipating the memories I will inevitably make. It’s a huge break from my usual routine of Christmas with family in Texas, and I’m excited about it.
I won’t have great communication and thus, my website will probably go unchanged more than it should. But if I have some great photos, I’ll definitely share them.
One week until Christmas!! (and just a few more presents to buy!)
This weekend, I decided that it was time to get my Christmas shopping done. I couldn’t picked a better time . . . to immerse myself in hours of waiting in long lines with other desperate shoppers trying to fill the void of knowing they “owe” someone a present (that’s debatable).
The main waiting that I was forced to endure was in my car going to and from the parking lots of Baybrook Mall and vicinity. Going to that mall was like going back to a different mall because so much has changed. Yet, it also feels like going to high school because I spent more than a few occasions spending endless time hanging out. So I basically made one round getting presents and then getting the heck away from there.
Oh, how I love the burden of our materialistic Christmas. . . Nothing like putting off buying presents until the “last minute”.
After a nice Thanksgiving holiday, I decided I should extend this time off while I can. So, I took all of this past week off just relaxing. It was a very nice time to do nothing. I would love to extend it but I shall be responsible and continue to earn my living.
Christmas is here. Well, almost here. I’m not ready for it to be here but it’s here. I have no shopping done, I don’t really want to go shopping, and I’d love to just skip Christmas this year and fast-forward to the time in my life when I’m happier and have something of a job or purpose. The holidays become meaningless when there’s not as much to look forward to. Sure, I enjoy being with family and friends and that’s enough for me. But this holiday I still don’t have a job, or I still don’t know my purpose for waking up every morning. I don’t want a full-time, 8-5 job. But I would love income that didn’t take as much effort.
I applied for a job recently. Surprisingly, even to myself, I applied for an assistant youth director position. I don’t know if this is for me, but I had to see what they said and see if I liked what I saw. It is a really nice position but my main concern is being able to afford to take the job. I would have to move out near the church but the salary I’d be paid is nowhere near enough for me to live because of all the expenses I already have with student loans. Arg, darn these stupid loans.
I was working on my computer the other day when the mail came. Supposedly, I have a subscription to FHM. Why does this matter? Because I now have a ton of free subscriptions including Maxim, Stuff, and Blender. This excludes a few others but I’m pretty much subscribed to some pretty nice Men’s magazines. I didn’t realize I had signed up for FHM but I welcome the stories. They’re nice toilet articles!
Word for the year: Postmodern
Man, I just realized that it’s December. It’s December! It’s DECEMBER. Funny… the more I write December, the weirder the word looks. It’s December. It’s not Procember. It’s not Lecember. Not even Delcember. It’s December.
Christmas is in 24 days from today. I have not begun Christmas shopping, and have no idea what I shall purchase for anyone. And I must decide who to buy presents for outside of family. I don’t even know where I’ll be for Christmas yet. Decisions…
I am going to take a couple of days to pay my loans, organize myself a little better and then clean up a little. Then hopefully I’ll have time to work for at least a week if not more and make some much needed money.
My next entry into this journal shall be about my CD I produced. Be ready because I plan to advertise it as much as possible, maybe even create my own webpage dedicated to it. Please buy one to show support.